Copyright ? ExistentialAngst 2000.
I would be extremely intrested in any individual capable of, and willing to translate this page into Russian.
Thanx
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An apology........ untill the next time Russia does something funny. Saturday, 14th July 2001 |
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I have an apology to make to the people of Russia. It turns out Russia might not be as lame as i thought. The ONLY EFnet irc server that lets me connect to EFnet is irc.rt.ru. Thats a Moscow server. All the American servers tell me to fuck off. On one hand, I am now eternally grateful to the people of Russia for giving me my only access to EFnet. Yet at the same time, im sort of mildly disappointed that im able to connect to irc through a .ru server. I feel like i ought to get something like this.... [19:51] *** Connecting to irc.rt.ru (6668) - [19:51] *** Unable to resolve local host (ERROR: Capitalism detected on the client side) Sighhhhh.... From the worlds scariest empire to the worlds best EFnet server. I guess Russia just has to take what they can get these days. |
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Ahhhh funny shit :). The russians put the Mir up there back when that had some mad skillz at putting stuff into orbit, and now theyve gone all western and crap, they dont know how to get it down safely. Now, slap me down and call me a n?ive twit, but i have a few questions about the Mir re-enty...
Mir is only going to be a problem because its so fucking big, and theres no way the whole thing can manage to burn up in the atmosphere by the time it reaches earth. So why the fuck don't they chew their sattelites a bit better before they try to swallow them? Surely bits and pieces of the Mir can be broken off bit by bit to make sure that it all burns up in the atmosphere and doesn't cause any grief to people on the ground. No people, im afraid there is something sinister afoot. There is a very good reason why the Mir space station is necassarily going to hit earth. Thats because the Russians want it to come crashing to earth. Its not going to land inocuously in the pacific ocean either. Thats because the Russians dont want it to land inocuously. No folks, this space station, is at this very moment packed to the hilt with daedly biological and nuclear weapons, headed not for an unpopulated piece of ocean east of New Zealand. No folks, this space station is headed for Nebraska. Aiming it right for the middle of Nebraska would allow the entire station to land on America and not waste any of the scattered debris on the Ocean. Its the only possibility that makes sense. Why the hell would the Russians want to drop their space station on an unpopulated bit of water in the pacific ocean. Theres no mileage in that. They could of course be thinking of droping it on New Zealand, cause that would make it look a bit more like an accident. But that would be stupid. Theres nothing in New Zealand worth hitting with a flaming fireball/space station. Pootin knows that first hand: he used to work there for the KGB. So theres no doubt then that the Russians are aiming this little flaming payload of death squarely at the USA. Someone warn the president QUICKLY! Tell him to evacuate all Americans from America and promptly reign down a barrage of nuclear warheads on Moscow to let that smart arse Pootin know that no Bush... particularly not George W, is going to be outsmarted by some dirty little commie. |
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Russia has recently decided that the Kursk did not sink on its own dumb luck. The Russian Navy has stepped up their efforts to convince the Russian ppl and the rest of the world, that the Kursk was not actually a large flotilla of rust, as is the popularly held belief. They are now claiming that the Kursk did not sink, so much as it was sunk by a sub from some capitalist country. Many a russian finger is starting to point at the US navy. They are saying that the Kursk was the victim of a collision with an American submarine that was on exercises in the area. Personally, I have a few questions about the new proposition being put forth by the Russian Navy. How is it, that if there was a collision with another sub, that the Kursk sunk instantly to the bottom of the ocean like a wet bag of shit, and the Mystery Submarine X, managed to quite easily scoot off to a friendly port, with conceivably just as much damage as the damage that caused the Kursk to sink like a stone to the bottom of the barents straight? Are the Russian Navy making their nuclear submarines out of paper mach?e? U know i REALLY do think now is the right time to start up Cold War II. C'mon the ppl of America. U know as well as i do that the Cold war was never about Communism. It was always about Russia and its people, and as far as i can see Russia is still standing, even if only just. Consequently, the USA has not won the Cold War untill Russia is completely crushed like so many tones of rusty nuclear submarine. We all know how much Americans hate to loose and as long as Russia is a functioning country, the Cold War was lost by the USA. The Russians won and they know it. Pootin is practically blowing rasberries at the USA, with his outlandish claims regarding US submarines in the Barents Straight. He WANTS America to have a go at Russia with its nuclear arsenal. All through the Cold War, Russia was the aggressor. I bet the Russians never worried about capitalists under the bed, but u can bet your nuclear arsenal the White House has been perpetually worried about reds under the bed since 1945. Well now its time to turn the tables and give them a bit of what they gave. I might put this idea forward to Bush if he can manage to stifle enough voters in Florida and become President. That Gore pussy always has some smarmy look on his face when he lectures me about stability in foreign policy and why my ideas won't work. |
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Yesterday was the 83rd aniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. About 6 ppl marched the streets in rememberance of the bygone Soviet era. Well, maybe it was more then half a dozen, but it sure as hell didnt look like very many. A few of them had a go at Yeltsin, saying how dodgey he was, and how he was the cause of the all the current misery in Russia. They elaborated to rant on about how great the Soviet Union used to be when Stalin and then Kruschev were at the helm... and then the likes of Yeltsin came along with all their western ideas and fucked everything up. Suffice to say i think Russia has always been fucked up. The commies just hid it better. Who else but Kruschev would think of parading an arsenol of card board nuclear missiles through the middle of Russia in an effort to pass them off as the real deal to the closely watching Americas? Who else would spend 100% of the national budget on the space program, to really piss off JFK? The commies thats who. But now their not even a fragment of their former grandeur... and relying on Vladdy Pootin to pull them out of the shit. The Yeltsin prodigy, that was so important to his country when he was a KGB agent, they stationed him in New Zealand. March on Commrades, march on. |
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Kursk drowns while "Pootin the Procrastinator" procrastinates Friday, 13th October 2000 |
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Would someone please tell me WTF has happened to Russia? For pete sake... someone bring back the Cold War, incite the commies, DO SOMETHING. This is a tragedy. How did such a once proud nation, become such a shit hole? I mean, Australian submarines might make a little bit of noise here and there, but atleast we can keep the damn things afloat. In a strange show of stupidly patriotic paranoia, the Rusian high command decided, for reasons unknowable, that come hell of high water, no damn faggotty little brit or uppity little yank is going to be fishing our men out of the depths of the Barents Straight. Instead they were happy to piss fart around as their men drowned. Like fucking small children learning to swim, that dont want to get their head wet, the Russian rescue team splashed about on the surface. Now if Stalin were still about? Wellll, he'd have had a bit of the ole duck diving gear and had the whole damn submarine to the surface in 10 minutes. In fact if push came to shove and I were one of lads stuck down their with my comrades, i reckon i would have been swimming for the surface. Bone breaking pressure be damned. In fact what frigging difference does 100 meters make anyway? I mean its not THAT far and its all upwards. Anyway, the point is the Norwegians waltzed in and in the end made the Russians look prity fucking ordinary. Pootin would have been much better off, biting the bullet, accepting that the Brits nor the Yanks care to spy on rusty, sinky old Russsian submarines and just get someone better equiped to to come in and save some lives. Would have been much less embarresing in the long run. MMMMMM... I just had an idea for a regular section on the site: "NYET! NYET NYEEEETTT!! Where have all the Comrades gone?: A documentation of the demise of the Russian State" |
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