Friday, 26th October 2001: Update #58
Osama hates Australia more then he hates Israel ????
America
Britain
Canada
Australia
That is the order in which Osama bin Laden hates the rest of the world. Im sure Osama hates many more countries then just 4.... but the list stops at 4 because thats the position held by Australia. This list was released recently by Australian Federal Treasurer, Peter Costello, obviously after weeks and weeks of expert political analysis from terrorism experts working for Mr Costellos department.
So on the assumption that Peter Costello is an astute politican that would never try to turn an ugly, dangerous situation into a political advantage by needlessly alarming people, we will take his list of terrorist targets as being the result of a well thought out analysis and not something he made up on the spot.
So on the assumption that Osama bin Laden finds Ausralia the fourth most annoying country in the world, more annoying even then Israel, more annoying even then Russia, we will investigate exactly what it is about Australia that Osama finds even more annoying then Jews (Israel) in the middle of the Islamic heartland or the godless heathens (Russia) that tried to prop up an unpopular communist regime in Afghanistan during the early eighties.
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.....but i cant even begin to imagine how to pretend that Osama would hate Australia more then he hates Israel or Russia.
Suffice to say that Peter Costello is a retard and his list is bollocks.
Israel is in CONSTANT friction with extremist Islamic factions. The whole damn Jewish State, is on land that up untill 70 odd years ago was the islamic state of Palestine (no doubt somebody will correct me if im wrong). Yet, Peter Costello is trying to tell us that Israel sits somewhere AFTER Australia on Osama bin Ladens shopping list of countries to fly planes into?
Russia also, would rate MUCH higher then Australia on the Osama bin Laden jihad itinerary. Don't forget it's still only 15 years ago that the USSR fought a bloody guerilla war in Afghanistan to prop up a widely unpopular sectarian communist dictatorship. Osama bin Laden fought in that war DIRECTLY against the Russians. Yet we are to believe that Osama bin Laden dislikes Australia more then he does Russia?
I think Costello is making the incredibly n?ive assumption that what ticks off Osama bin Laden is the English Language. Because... that seems to be the only common thread in Mr Costellos very shoddy aproximation at whom Osama bin Laden hates most in this world. Basically he's said "Who are the top 4 most powerful ENGLISH SPEAKING nations in the world" and then decided that they must also be the top 4 nations most hated by Osama bin Laden.
The only factor that might even remotely make Australia a target for aggression from Al-Qaida, is the way in which Australia quickly signed up to the posse George W began to round up soon after September 11. But even that still puts us no where near being in the same league as Israel when it comes to potential attention from terrorists.
The problem with everyone running around henny-penny, like the sky is falling in, proclaiming to anyone that will listen, that septemember 11 was "an attack on the free world", is that this is not a calm state to be in for making well reasoned judgements on the best course of action to take. September 11 really wasnt an attack on the free world at all. It was an attack on America. Osama bin Laden has never declared a holy war on Australia. Osama bin Laden has never declared a holy war on Canada, or Britain or anyone else for that matter. Anyone else, except of course America. Osama bin Laden is at war with America and he declared so many years ago. Osama bin Laden will go to great lengths to keep the efforts of his organisation focused firmly on America. To include Britain and other nations in his list of nations to incur the wrath of Allah, would be to make his crusade a vauge swipe at the world, and the effectiveness of his jihad diminished. Who he chooses to attack is almost as important as who he decides not to attack. If Osama now starts flying planes into Britain and Europe, what little support he has from the worlds islamic community, will truly diminish. Don't expect this little Al-Qaida jihad to take its attention off america anytime real soon.
This is not to say that the rest of the world shouldnt come out in defence of America. They should. But not because they themselves fear attacks from Al Qaida, but because its the right thing to do.
There could only be one reason why Peter Costello or anyone else would want to overstate a threat to the Australian public or to any country for that matter. Either A, as an excuse to crack down on political and social freedoms in the name of security (Malaysia perhaps?). Doesn't really apply to Australia. Or B, to create a sense of insecurity to generate a political advantage for an upcoming election and to depoliticise and falsely validate the deployment of troops to war. Bingo.
????? ????????
But if your blind i forgive you. Of course if your blind... you dont realise im forgiving you. In fact why the fuck are you here if your blind? I really doubt many blind people read angstythink as most of the gags are visual.
Saturday, 13th October 2001: Update #57
With finger nails that shine like justice ????
This is lame...... and yet, at the same time, arousing in a very unsettling way.
Why is it that ALL the guy dolls look like they either just smelt a fart or they punch donuts on the sly?
"Thx j00 f0r being 4 fr1end,
traveled d0wn the road 4nd back again,
j00r he4rt is true, j00r a pal and i can't b3 done
and if you thr0ugh a party, ya invited everone u noo,
j00 would s3e the biggest gift would be fr0m me
and the c4rd attatched would say thx j00 for being 4 friend"
LOL ROFLMAO!!!!111 clb!
PS- That Blanche sure was a hottie.
Im quite excited at the moment.? ?Angstythink looks like having its busiest month on record, mostly thanx to Jocelyn.
? ?My fav
? ?Jaymis is making his blog a whole heap classier because Crush, Amanda and myself sent him 5 hits.
? ?Angstythink had its first birthday last month and to celebrate Angstythink's 11/12th birthday, im probably going to have some friends write for angstythink... which im really looking forward to.
? ?Themp3alt is looking like its going to start up again any day now, albeit in a completely different form (the emphasis this time will be more on music in general and less on JUST mp3s).
? ?As you can see, from now on, every new paragraph i ever write will start with a big letter and an indentation. No particular reason. Mostly just because it makes me look like I write goodly like a proper writer.
? ?Oh and themp3alt's favorite misanthrope and resident design guru, Fl3a, also has a website: The New Pollution.
? ?My bedroom was painted and re-arranged the other day. My computer is now on my desk, giving me a much better view of the Senegalese Doves that hang out on the bird feeder outside my window.
? ?I just went outside and gave them some seed a few minutes ago. It was the first time i've fed them in about a week, and the shortage of seed makes them fight each other more. They take big gobfulls of downy feathers off each other. Thats how fucking stuck i am for good stuff to post. I starve the wild birds outside my window so they fight more and i can post something about it on Angstythink.
? ?Ohh look that one dove is caining that other dove, but the other dove doesn't seem to care!! Its just sitting there while the other dove jumps around on its back.
? ?Mummy why is that one dove jumping up and down on the back of that placid dove????
? ?WOAH!!!! I just made that joke about bird-sex........ and not a minute later 2 doves ACTUALLY get it onnnnn. I think maybe the doves knew i was watching and wanted to give me a show
? ?Damn. When i've got nothing to talk about i should really keep my mouth shut and update Angstythink later. Otherwise i wind up talking about birdsex.
Wednesday, 3rd October 2001: Update #56
I stole this joke, from a movie i saw called Phat Beach. It was a shit movie so im allowed to steal its jokes. ????
You dont deserve to live if your still using Netspace.
I can't be arsed making these cartoons work properly under retarded settings.
Monday, 1st October 2001: Update #55
Id like to be like
Michael Jordan wants to play basketball again. So fucking let the man do what he likes doing best and get off his back. Sure he's not going to be like the Mike of old...... but who cares. He is good for the game, and he has earnt the right to do as he pleases when it comes to basketball.
The first 2 lines were about basketball. Despite appearances, the next few paragraphs could not possibly be about anything less related to basketball.
Mr Jordan has also announced that his nominal (nominal by Jordan standards) players fee of $2.7 million over 2 years, will be donated to the victims of terrorism in America. Well isn't that just cute. I wonder if Jordan has thought at all about giving any of the $398 million he is worth from his years of endorsement work for nike, to the thousands of disenfranchised muslims, that work the sweatshops in indonesia to make the shoes that make Mike a rich enough man to donate money to the victims of Islamic terrorists? The irony is really quite stunningly grand. While the gesture to the victims of terrorism, is really quite touching, the irony is that if his employers, Nike and companies like Nike (McDonalds perhaps), were better corporate citizens in the global market, particularly in the third world, then the pool of poverty stricken families from which terrorists recruit support and are indeed born themselves, would be conciderably less and America might not be such a target for terrorist attacks ,9/11 might never have happened and Mike would never get the chance to show his generosity. What goes around, comes around to bite you on the bum. It's not that I expect a basketball player to be as politically aware as this. He is after all, just an entertainer. But Nike themselves have no such excuse
Have we come to a consensus yet as to why this shit happened? I know we give a lot of thought to what we're going to do to make sure it never happens again. Yet strangely we dont stop to concider why it happened in the first place. It's as if policy makers think that the 2 questions are unrelated.
Do muslims just go mad one morning and decide their going to devote their lives to the destruction of America for no better reason then a chemical inbalance in their mind? Or could there be seeds of neglect planted by America and the west? Seeds that germinate in the fertile soil of poverty and grow up to be the thorny, suffocating bush (pun not intended) we call terrorism.
Or is it no ones fault? No one, but some thing. The thing we call globalisation perhaps? The stormy thunder cloud that waters the seed of discontent and neglect in the soil of poverty? Is this analogy getting too big?
Suffice to say i've changed some of my long held views on globalisation. I browsed through a very interesting book called Elect The Ambasador. I'll go into more detail when i've actually read the whole book. The basic thesis, from what I can tell, is that Globalisation means that economics and finance no longer recognise international borders and that in order to deal with this change in the fundamental ways we do international business, we need to change the fundamental ways we do politics. Democracatic mechanisms must be installed that consciously ignore international borders, in order to keep up with international commerce and its likewise disregard for international borders. In order for globaliasation to be a univerally modernising and positive influence, instead of the selectively modernising and widely disempowering force that it tends to be at the moment, globalisation must include the globalisation not just of free market economics, but of democracy. Trippy huh?
If you like me talking about this shit, then email me and tell me. If you like me writing cartoons about slightly rancid doner kebabs, email me too. If you dont like me doing anything, and your not sure why your here, you should still email me. Everyone email me for that matter. Actually noone email me. Just post comments in the forum.
Sites that dont need hits from Angstythink...
Jaymis- Jaymis is da man. His site design confusues me. But the drawings at the entry page are funky and he does cool stuff that he writes about and its all good.Sites that REALLY dont need hits from Angstythink...
Jeb- Jeb is still gay and he's still funny (as in since i linked him last week). In fact he's even funnier then he was last week.... on account of i've taken the time to read more of what he writes.
His site design is funky too. Each page has a Jeb caricature on the left. I drempt last night that i served jeb a kebab. I drempt i served a red headed guy with a goatee a kebab. And when i say kebab, i DONT mean some sort of gayspeak for my penis. And when i say served i mean i gave it to him and he ate it. Not something else. You guys are perverts. I dont do that sorta shit. Ahhhhhhgrrrh. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I mean not that im saying one could possibly think there is something wrong with that. Shit. Okaaaaaaaaaaaay NEXT LINK!
homophobia is funny. Not that there is anything wrong with that
Rebel Alliance Network- Fucking hell Reverend is funny. I always knew he was funny..... cause he was one of the original survivorer's, but only just recently have i got really stuck into his site and fuck have i ever laughed. Lately he's been brawling with Nays Mum and harrasing lonely women on AOL. Fucking genius. Check out his wishlist too if you get a chance.
Robotskull- I want to be like Samn. I would kill to be as funny and as humble and as popular as Samn. Samn is pure cool. He's not cool in a "hey anyone that will listen: i get 2000 uniques a day!" kind of way. He is cool in a "im too cool to care about how many uniques i get, yet i get more hits in a day then angstythink gets in 6 months" type of way. Not to mention funny. He's got more funny then you can poke a stick at. He also happens to be the nicest guy you will ever have the good fortune to IM with. Robotskull may well be my favorite site on the internet
Unlovely- Unlovely's not really like the last 2 sites. Their not as well established as RAN, or Robotskull, but it still qualifies as a site that "REALLY doesnt need my hits" because i imagine they must get atleast a 1000 hits a day, and their not therefore likely to notice the 3 hits I send them. Furthermore, the 2 girls that do this site, distinguish themselves from the 2 gents that do the 2 previous sites...... by being girls. By being pritty girls at that. Pretty girls that i would like to sex0r (it doesn't sound as rude if i spell it the hax0r way). They further distinguish themselves from say, Neigh (intended to be pronounced like the noise a horse makes) by actually being intelligent, funny writers. Plus their new design is sexy+++. Although i do with Jocelyn would post more often :|
b0g- b0g is l33t. Its not particularly funny... although it can be sometimes. Its not particularly intelligent... although it can be sometimes. Its just l33t. I cant put my finger on why. It just eminates l33t.
