Hello computer!! My name is Habib! I am from Al-Jumhouriya al'Iraqia, or as you may know it, The Democratic Republic of Iraq (Saddam Hussein was not without a sense of humour eh?).

I am 15 year old and currently living in detention center. I am hope some day to be Australian like you. But untill I can be that I must learn more about your country. I must be true and tell to you that I am have many difficulties knowing your country. But I hope to learn extra and extra with your help super fun smart computer!

In Iraqi we do not have smart computers like this. Only cardboard boxes with square holes cut in one side. And a sheet of cardboard with buttons drawn on it. Iraqi chidren have very much better imagination then Australia children with their gamesquares and funstations that do not need any imagination at all.

I am only getting to writes things on you Mr Super Fun Smart computer because Wangst McPants donated this computer to my detention center. He seemed to think that Super Fun Smart Computer would find my words to be funny and interesting. Like I am say, I still have much to know about Australia country.

So Wangst said that it would be good for me to write all about the world news. Sort of current events from the rarely heard perspective of a 15 year old Iraqi teenold. So here go not a thing.....

World News From the Buttonboard of Habib the Boy from the Iraqi!
In world news today we are find out that Prince Charles likes the penis. He will be the first King of Britain and the Commonwealth that likes to do bums. I am not care much about this news. In Iraq we used to have a King. He might have been homosexing but we are not know because he never alive long enough to meet a woman as ugly as Camilla Parker Bowles. Saddam kill our king when he was still in him "being young and cool and sexing hot women like Princess Diana" stage.

In other news, it has become yes that Michael Jackson likes penises also. But he only likes the very small penises. May allah forgive me and not strike me down with an airplane for saying penis so much on this computer, but much of the news from the world requires me to say this bad word.

I am not understand why America children complain so lots. In Iraq we have NOTHING! We play baseball with land mines and basketball with tumbleweed! No Michael Jackson in Iraq! Only Saddam and United Nations people who do not dance so good as Michael Jackson! America Children should think they are lucky! Lucky to have man that let you watch him sing and dance and ride in his theme park and then only have to ride him penis in returns. Michael even drug you up nicely so it don't hurt much and you only poop blood for a few day after.

I am sick of it! American children am only ever complain! Complain complain complain! "Mommy Mommy! Micky Mouse touched me in the rude place!" or "Mommy Mommy! The Santa Clause at the mall gets excited and touches my bot-bot when I sit on his lap!" or else they go something like "Mommy Mommy! Michael Jackson put his wee-wee in my potty maker!". WELL FUCK TO YOU AMERICA! THERE IS NO DISNEYLAND IN IRAQ, SADDAM SHOT SANTA OUT OF THE SKY FOR SPYING, AND IF MICHAEL JACKSON EVER CAME TO IRAQ AND ROOT CHILDREN YOU WOULD CALL IT LIBERTY OR CHARITY OR DEMOCRACY OR SOME OTHER DUMB AMERICAN IDEA THAT INVOLVES HURTING PEOPLE WITH DARK SKIN!

I do sorry. I am get carried away with the monument. It just that I love Michael Jackson. If I am ever getting cancer then the King of Pop is the first person I am call. When i wake up with a hurt poo place I am sue him for every dollar in him bank account. Then I go back to Iraq and buy Baghdad.

Posted by Habib at November 30, 2003 10:49 PM