Premier Geoff Gallop is under fire this week over claims that Perth domestic airport is to be widened to allow visiting satiric comedy genius Paul McDermott's massive ego to pass through it. Taxpayers will have to foot the bill for the radical restructuring of the airport, to the tune of eight million dollars. But Dr. Gallop today said it was a worthwhile expense.

"The Arts Minister and I decided that it was a small price to pay to have this amazing artist and all round swell guy visit our little town. Not to mention he is very hot."

Engineers will work on the airport for the next week to make the doors and gates up to ten times larger to allow McDermott's inflated sense of self-worth to pass through safely.

Hot sexy cult comedy rock star heart throb McDermott arrives next week to do a series of shows with his new band CRUD. He is expected to perform several classic songs about raping toddlers.

Airport security will be stepped up as the airport is expected to be packed with the fat annoying women who have become McDermott's bread and butter over the years.



Paul McDermott: loved by fat women everywhere

In addition to having a fantastic singing voice, the versatile McDermott can write, act, paint, walk, talk, breathe, read autocues, pose for photos and appear in Woman's Weekly.

Perhaps this is why he is still adored by DAAS fans across the world, usually sad, fat, lard-arsed girls with blotchy skin who haven't quite managed to come to emotional terms with the fact DAAS broke up twenty years ago, and Tim Ferguson has become, or always was, crap. They design stalker websites about DAAS, wear black leather jackets which are too tight because they're so fat, and turn up at McDermott's shows where they stand by the bar looking fat and annoying, hoping that McDermott will lose his powers of sight and try to have sex with them.

Martin Zygote is one of Paul McDermott's greatest fans

Posted by Martin Zygote at July 22, 2004 03:22 PM