Wangst,
Definitely one of your best pieces.
You know some people find bald attractive.
Cheers,
BraNo

Superb. Absolutely hilarious. This is the first time I've been to your site, but if this is an indication of the quality I can expect, I'll be back.

I like it! Care to put together something for the rest of the country? The Senate? It would be huge and a hoot! Keep it UP!!!!!!

funniest thing i have ever read. :)

hahah. Andrew? Andrew Canion? Andrew Canion who is engaged to Hannah Beazley? Hannah Beazley who is the daughter of Kim Beazley? The Hannah Beazley who had her appendix out a few years back?

Wow. We are indeed honoured.

Yeah. I shoulda done the whole country. I shoulda got to work on it sooner, but alas didn't start on the idea untill like a week ago.

Cant imagine i will get to the other 137 electorates in the country and the 30-odd senate seats in the time between now and close of polls on satuurday.

This is hilarious! good work.. I actually reckon the scientist muffet david ritter and dominique lieb would make a cute couple! don't you think

keep up the good work

Dominique for PM.

spinout! Someone in WA with a sense of humour.

Hi Wangst

Great post, made me laugh during a week where I am otherwise shitting myself.

Have to disagree with your Brand vote though. I think the ol' man's a bit handsome myself.

And I'm doing so much better without my appendix! It's scary when people remember that (let alone know those details about my life)!

I'm hoping you're in one of those good-looking Labor seats...

Yeah. The worst thing about writing this post is not that i might come across as a mean prick (because i am) the worst is that i might come across as a liberal voting prick.

That I am definitely going to vote for Sharyn Jackson has nothing at all to do with what she looks like. I am staunchly pro-labor and have been since i was old enough to understand that giving my vote to the general interest of all Australians is the most noble thing I can do on election day. I dont necessarily hate the Liberal Party. But i despise John Howard.

My political colors in this post are not obvious because, right at the moment, I have other fish to fry. The question which i seek to pose with the device of satire still stands. When will the politicians of this country truly engage people and the problems they are faced with every day? Both of the major parties offer policies that provide them with the best stategic opportunity of re-election at the expense of policies that actually help people.

There are a myriad of reasons why people are apathetic about politics. The biggest is that both the ALP and the Liberal party cynically manipulate the defacto 2 party system. The ALP deliberately sits a fraction to the left of the Libs, and the Libs deliberately sit just a fraction to the right of the ALP. They practically sit on top of each other. The libs know that voters on the far far right, have no choice but to vote Liberal, and voters on the far left have no choice but to vote Labor.

So in a sytem where neither party really bothers to hit constituents with their policies, why wouldnt voters just say "Fuck it. I'll just vote for the least ugly one."?

P.S. Hannah Beazley, say hi to your old man for me. I feel sure he would have been proud of me for using words like "immutable" to descibe him. I would have used the word "boondoggle" but i couldn't see any place it was apropriate.

P.P.S. That your father has not been the Prime Minister for the last 3 years is what got my passion for politics started. Despite whatever should happen whenever, your father is a good man.

P.P.S.S. Hannah, just between you, me and the wind.... your Dad is definitely going to have another go at the Labor leadership if Latham fails isn't he?

Obviously you have not seen Sarah McMahon - Liberal Candidate for Reid - she is waaaay hotter than Dominique Lieb!

Go to www.liberal.org.au/candidates and check it out

Had a good cack at you site. V original idea and a bit of lite relief during a v. long and boring campaign. (apart from the logging stoush in Tassie - Go labor/green!!!!)

Hey Wangst

I see your points, and I'm glad that there's someone out there who gives politics/politicians more than a fleeting thought.

I'd have to disagree with you somewhat though. I don't think the parties sit on top of each other. I agree that if you're far right or far left you really only have one choice(even if you're so far either way you vote for Families First or the Greens, your preferences still go Libs and ALP), but I think there are fundamental differences between the two. Maybe they're more philosophical than anything else but they have become increasingly apparent. The media's line last election that there was no difference was just pure bullshit. They were too lazy to look at the policies on offer.

Labor was established on the foundation of workers' rights, a fair and equal society, provision of community services and the absolute necessity of quality, affordable and accessible education and health systems.

The Libs have always been about economic rationalism. And, you know I'm going to say it, economic rationalism at the expense of EVERYTHING else - including citizens.

Economic growth is important, and it will be maintained under Labor (and the States of Australia, may I add, have a shitload to do with our current growth), but the ALP is about BALANCE.

And I know what you're saying about engaging people and tackling their problems. I agree with you to a certain extent. But it's not till people start voting that way that politicians will actually do it. That said, a lot of the policies of the last 2 elections (and this one) I think deal with many of my issues. The thing is, you vote for someone who can best deal with them - and who wants to deal with them - so that they will when they're in office (even if they're not running on them).

But I know, I'm preaching to the converted. I'm just hoping that some swinging voter looking at your site may actually take me seriously. But, I doubt it! I'm not that great at convincing people. Can you believe I get accused of having a vested interest? =P

But seriously, my vested interest is in the NATION and WHAT'S GOOD FOR IT, PEOPLE!

I'll pass on your "Hi" to Dad. And you know I agree - not having Kimbo as PM for the last 3 years has been an absolute travesty!

If he were, maybe Australians wouldn't have become such a scared and timid people.

And between you, me and the wind...no comment. I think we all know who I'd prefer.

Wangst,
Until you post pictures of the candidates naked, I won't know who to vote for. Please have this important political material up before the elections- the public must be informed.

Kim Wilkie is my cousin :/

Well well well...Mr McPants you popular little satirist. Maybe you should run for the lower house with your buddy Kim. I havent read all the posts on here, incidently (because, fuck me SIXTEEN!- thats waaayyy too much to go through) but i get the impression that perhaps your new girlfriend Hannah (she writes too much by the way) could put in a good word for you down at ALP central.

I spent a few hours today handing out 'how to vote' cards for Mr Wilkie and, he is really UNattractive. I battled on nevertheless all for the 'lesser of two evils' cause. I find that MPs, like strippers, porn stars and news presenters (with perhaps the exception of Rick Ardon) are really only eye candy for boys. There needs to be a male Dominique Lieb counterpart running atleast in the seat of Swan.

Sigh...

Oh, and...

Nothing pisses me off more than the over use of the word NATION.

Its a rhetorical term that doesnt really mean anything. Other favourites include 'family values' and 'community'.

'I want whats good for the nation'- WHO is the NATION??? Hannah? Who is the nation??? Or, more importantly, who ISNT the nation? Who can we list amoung the UN-Australians? Gay people and ethnic people straight off the top of my head. The NATION must just be some amorphous mess of voting age, married heterosexual white people. Or do we include these people in the nation? Lets just concede that there IS gay people in this 'nation'. Where do you draw the line? What constitutes this wonderful NATION that we're all trying to improve?

Its a convenient term for politicians, that means very little (except sound warm and fuzzy) but fits nicely into a sound bite because we all consider ourselves members of it except when its used to rule people out. AHH....I call on politicians from all sides to stop wanking around and using euphamisms to get us to agree to stuff. Its so insulting.

The hegemonic, nationalist, pro hetero sexual, anti ethnic state of this place makes me so sick. BLHAkdgfkdhgkjndbjknd.....im going to go have a shower.

.....sorry about my not so light hearted speil.

why are you young people so negative about our political system. its the greatest in the world! and whats more our politicians arent racist or sexist or homophobic. they just understand how real australians feel. im sick of alllll the abos in the world being on welfare. im sick of everytime i want to go to a hip pub for a VB all i see are gay men mackin on each other, or at least semi-effeminant men having a gay old time like its "ok" and im sick of immigants taking my australian kiddies jobs. every NORMAL aussie feels this way, and if they dont they are mentally difficient! you young people just dont get it. i cant understand how you wont get excited by plans for medicare (for our ageing population) and the commitment the libs have for cutting down our forests.. i mean they are our natural resources, why cant we use them for gods sake! these are policies which you youths should care about even if it has no benefit for anyone born pre 1955. even my own son would rather go out raving on the e or doing up his monaro, rather than watchin the election (as called by the brilliant presenters who have done tireless work on today tonight.) Still that doesnt matter! because he voted today and it doesnt matter that he doesnt know where canberra is. cause he votes just like i do. for the libs. cause i told him so!

People are getting so fired up on here! And the post was so lighthearted!

Just for the record, I consider the "nation" EVERYONE. From newborns to the elderly, blacks, whites, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, religious, non-religious, people who have been here for 10,000 years, 200 years or 1 day. People who arrived by canoe, convict ship, plane and, yes, by refugee ships.

There is no drawing of the line when you talk about the "nation", it is a unifying term. And I thought it a lot more concise term to use rather than my paragraph above. Imagine how long my post would have been if I hadn't??

There have been terms that have been thrown around a lot, perhaps too much, but they do have meaning.

Anyway, we lost. I'm off to drown my sorrows...

But its NOT a unifying term. By defining what it is you also decide what it is not. It is infact the very opposite. Refugees- wow, theyre really UNAustralian when theyre not being a useful cheap labour force- then theyre little aussie battlers! It creates an US and THEM Scenario. Because you talk about it with such presumption you gloss over the struggle over the meaning of that word and the many contexts within which it is used and how it is used to justify one point over another. It is one example of the many many ways political talk assumes a particular status quo and reinforces sameness and domination.

For example, when the PM says 'i speak for all australians when i say...' he isnt speaking for me. Not by a long way. Hes actually speaking for the benefits of white, middle aged married people because that is what he means by Australians and ppl assume that that is what australians are. But ppl think that his point is justified because apparently its what 'the nation' wants and we all love to be team playing, unified, Australians so we go along with it. See how it is used?

And, unified against what? A group only exists by virtue of there being others who arent in the group. The lines start to blur when Iraqees are considered others, or, clearly not australian. They are, like Canadians are Canadians, Iraqees are Iraqees. So when they show up here in search of asyllum its a lot easier to kick them out because they arent Australians. See the power this simple nationalism conveys?

By using that rhetoric over and over it makes this domination an everyday, acceptable status quo.

Its a dangerous ideology because so many people simply subscribe to it with a contrived senese of nationalistic pride because its easier than arguing.

If the PM said 'i want to ban gay marriages because thats what i and the rest of my conservative buddies want' it wouldnt sound quite as effective as 'i want to ban gay marriages for the good of the nation'.

Just think about how often and why these terms are used. Im not saying you personally have a prejudice for using the word because its far more ingrained than that. The fact that you assume you know and we know what the nation is, is the very reason why people are able to have the power they get from it.

I am really sorry for harping on ppl but it shits me a lot. I am so sick of seeing ppl disenfranchised by conventional politics because its all euphamisms and wank.

Im also really sorry the ALP bombed so badly. I almost cried watching Sunday this morning (also due to PMS and a hang over). I adhore the greed and fear shown by the voters in this election. Its quite pitiful and gutless.

I'll get off my soap box now i promise.

hey, what happened to all the other comments Wangst?

And for that matter, what happened to all the other PRC posts?

My webhost shat itself. So them comments that got added were all deleted.

ah

alright! i just saw an advert on ABC for Degrassi Juniour High; Another Generation!

Degrassi is everything perth wants to be ... oh how i miss the crazy antics of Joey Jeremiah! and that band that _______ (i cant even remember his name now; Skeet? Snake? Wheels?) and all his friends made

"Everybody get ready and get into gear,
the Degrassi sensation,
the one and only,
Zit Remedy is here"

It's KFC now, but Mal Washer looks like the fkin fake Kernel with his bloody hat blown off

Oh Geez. So simple yet so many people are too stupid to get it. Economic rationalism results in a healthy economy which results in "HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY" for ALL OF US, not just the Aboriginals, the disabled, the single mums with daughters, etc. You can give as much taxpayers $ as you want to the "downtrodden" but when the taxpayers say ENOUGH then WTF are you going to do? Tax the shit outta the downtrodden??? Oh, we could always do what the ALP loves to do and BORROW MORE!!!!!! Yay!!!!! Happy happy happy!!!