Last night I went to see the lattest blockbuster rom-com, Hitch. For those not hip with the nomenclature of crappy films rom-com means ROMantic COMedy. For those not familiar with romantic comedies, this in turn means that the plot has to be extraordinarily predictable.

Only in the few scenes that this movie made me almost think about laughing, was I able to refrain from groaning aloud as this smelly brown lump of a movie lurches from one cliche to another to another untill the whole thing comes to its irritatingly obvious conclusion 115 minutes later.

The whole damn movie could have been told in 5 minutes.

1. Girl meets Boy.
2. Boy fucks up in some way or another, leaving relationship in jeopardy.
3. Boy gets his act together, but not before Girl fucks up in some way. Preferably because she has misunderstood the essential nature of Boy in some way.
4. Boy shows his real self to Girl and the relationship is back on track, but not before Boy dealt with some commitment issues or some sort.

And voila! A blockbuster rom-com!! I fucking hate these films. Look dont get me wrong, I don't just hate romantic comedies. I hate ANY film that sets out to present the world not as it is, but as a small, vocal, annoying section of the community would have it be. All the while trying to pass it off as a genuine look at the human condition. I mean puhlease. What this movie really needs is a big disclaimer at the very beginning: "This is not how men actually behave. But if it was you women would be get everything you deserve."

Maybe they tell a little bit more truth in the sequel, Hitch II, where Eva Mendes discovers that Will Smith is actually an arrogant prat in the first 5 minutes, dumps him and then for the remaning 110 minutes is seen eating Icecream on the couch like the stupid self-important bitch she is.

Wangst McPants, who it might be argued needs a girlfriend, gives this film 2 stars. Out of a 100.