The Other 95 Percent

Loopy Lefty or Righteous Rightwing?

I am actually a Neo-Conservative. That means I am a big fan of John Howard, George Bush and the Matrix. Being a Neo-Conservative is a very controversial thing to be these days. Not everybody likes the Matrix movies as much as I do.

To give you an example, I hate left-wing documentaries made by guys like Michael Moore and Morgan Spurlock. I am very much looking forward to the day when Michael Moore is making so many documentaries he has to start a corporation. Communist Documentaries PTY LTD or something like that.

I don't much like Morgan Spurlock's film "Super-size Me" either. If you eat McDonalds for a whole month you will get fat. Big suprise. Who would ever have guessed that if you eat fat all the time you will get fat. Here we are with a generation of overweight school children and the media and the public at large rush to blame it on McDonalds. As if human beings dont have free will. Hey here is a tip kids: next time Ronald McDonald asks you if you want a super-sized happy meal just tell him to fuck off. But there is no need to make a movie about it Morgan. I mean if I eat nothing but spinach for 30 days I will get sick, but nobody is going to start hating on Popeye.

McDonalds should put out a documentary of their own. I can hear the narrators voice right now...

Narrator: Morgan Spurlock ate nothing but McDonalds for a whole month. What a soft-cock.

*Enter Larry, the 200kg couch bum that McDonalds has hired as their new mascot. He is wearing a skin tight super hero outfit complete with cape and underpants on the outside. He is too busy with his food to acknowledge the narrator. He is eating a double-quarter pounder. Presumably a half-pounder.*

Narrator: This here is Super-Size Man. A hero for a new generation of kids who are fat and proud of it. Morgan Spurlock can eat nothing but McDonalds for a whole month. Super-Size Man has been eating nothing but McDonalds since the day he was born. For how long can YOU eat nothing but McDonalds? Do you dare to take the McDonalds challenge???

And why shouldn't they release such a documentary? It is the free world and we all have the freedom say whatever we want.

Hungry Jack's (aka Burger King) must be pretty pissed off but. Hungry Jacks must be saying to themselves "Where the fuck is our documentary? Each year thousands of kids get fat from eating Whoppers. And we treat our empolyees MUCH worse then McDonalds do. How about putting us in a movie?" And they be ringing up Morgan Spurlock telling him about how many grams of fat are in a Whopper. Cause they know what I know. Any publicity is good publicity.

The problem is that McDonalds LIKE it when movies like Super-Size Me are made. They feed off negativity. Corporations want to be hated?… the most successful corporations are the ones that are the most hated. Think of Nike, McDonalds, ExxonMobil, The American Government, James Hardie, Microsoft and Al Qaeda. See what I mean? All these corporations were hated before they were successful. I reckon these corporations are successful BECAUSE they are hated rather then hated because they are successful. People started hating on McDonalds and THEN they took over the world. People started hating George Bush and THEN he choose to take over the world. Prove to me that i'm wrong! Go on! Go to google and do some research! What's that? Your still here reading? You have decided to stay here and simply take my word for it. Your not going to critically evaluate whether or not what I saying is actually a plausible explanation for how the business world works? Of course your not!

You just know the McDonalds CEO gets up at the McDonalds AGM and says...

"At current estimates, over 5 million people regard McDonalds as being the corporate incarnation of Satan. This represents a 7% increase over the past fiscal year. This positive result is believed to be due to projects undertaken such as the deforrestation of the Amazon, and making millions and millions of children very very fat. Oh and just by the way, profits increased by a million percent."

So if I were a small corporation id be thinking to myself "Right?…. All I have to do is get Michael Moore or Morgan Spurlock to make a documentary about how bad I am, then BAM! I'm gunna hit the big time". Posted by ExistAngst at February 3, 2005 02:45 AM