The Other 95 Percent

The Incredibles.

Your not good enough and you damn well better know it kids. Unless you have some special power like you can run fast, go invisible when your naked or your body is so super stretchy you can give yourself sexual pleasure, you can wave goodbye to any hopes you may have cherished of being a super hero. So says new Pixar film, The Incredibles. The other night I went out to watch that new Pixar film with the clever animation and the 3 dimensions and so on and so forth. I hated it. From start to crummy finish I thought it was a yawn. And to be boring would be bad enough, but it was insulting to boot. As a member, indeed as a leader, of the global community of big fat nerds that live their lives vicariously through a computer all day long, I reject this film and its take on the greatest clash of the cultures in the modern age. I urge all other nerds to join me in henceforth boycotting this nasty and insulting film.

What am I so worked up about? Oh nothing. JUST THE PURE BILGE WATER THAT IS CURRENTLY POURING FROM THAT DISNEY GARBAGE BOAT, ONTO THE UNSUSPECTING PUBLIC BELOW, INFECTING THEIR BRAIN LEAVING THEM THINKING THAT ORDINARY JUST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! THAT UNLESS YOU WERE BORN WITH SOME SPECIAL GIFT YOU ARE NOTHING AND HAD BETTER GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA THAT YOU WILL RAISE A COUPLE OF LITTLE MORON KIDS, GROW OLD AND SUBSEQUENTLY DIE! AND NO AMOUNT OF HARD WORK OR INTELLIGENCE WILL MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO THAT!

Breath in slowly. Count to 3. Exhale slowly.

It all started with that dickhead fish Nemo and his adventures as a dickhead fish with a dickhead fish for a Dad. That was a pretty crap film. I mean there is a reason why you cant spell "moaN" without "Nemo" and it has nothing to do with orgasm. But atleast it wasnt insulting. Well it was a little bit insulting when they suggested that stoners are actually turtles who talk like Keanu Reeves. But other then that it was all pretty benign.

But this? This had me bristling with anger. I mean it's not even hidden. It's not buried beneath layers of subtext and symbolism. It is right there for all to see. Nerds will always loose and jocks will always win. Because brawn will always beat brains and natural talent will always overcome hard work. Disney are running a clinic on how to indoctrinate small children with ideas they will keep untill the day they die. In this case, the idea that unless you are born with some special gift, you had better get used to wasting your life in a crummy job as an insurance salesman. Or as a housewife drained of all life by 1 or more stupid moron children.

It is right there in the open. The REAL hero of this film is clearly Syndrome. He is a "genius" of the sort that some might carelessly preface with the term "evil". He is a man who, probably beaten like a red-headed step child for being a science nerd when he was a teenager, modeled himelf into a super hero with the help of his amazing inventions.

And good for him. But, oh, look out! Here comes Disney with their Hitlerite ideas about genetic engineering. Everyone knows Walt Disney was a Nazi empathiser. But few realise just how far the rot goes. Disney are producing films intent on teaching our children that the Aryan bloodline is being corrupted by the modern age. That selective breeding programs are the future of the human race and that genetic imperfection should be breed out.

Ok so this is something i can feel more then prove. But believe me, it's there. Posted by ExistAngst at January 11, 2005 09:16 PM