An Open Letter from Wangst McPants

The following is an open letter from Wangst McPants.....

Dear Prince Charles,

CC: Anna-Nicole Smith, Prince Harry and Ms Camilla Parker Bowles the first Princess Consort in British History,

Greetings Prince Charles!


Chuck you old dog! You finally popped the question to that other old dog, Camilla Parker Bowles! Down on one knee and "Will you be my Princess Consort" was it Charles? Well clearly congratulations are in order.

But don't do it Charles. Your youngest son and I have come up with a different idea. Just hear us out ok because we have really thought this through. I am a militant Australian Republican. I abhor the fact that the independent nation of Australia has a non-Australian as its head of state. It is disgusting. I will blow up buildings for this cause. You are my natural enemy Prince Charles, your youngest son, Prince Harry, while also my natual enemy, is on the other hand a stupid, horny, drug-fucked, little, bastard, redhead, nazi. Together we have decided that you should propose to Anna Nicole Smith.

Think about it Charles. Princes Di was a genuine cutie but she didnt have big silicone breasts that bounce up and down as you fuck her in your British manner. And your a Prince dude! Live it up a little!! Let Anna show you what her little baggie of pills can do and to hell with what the people of Britain think. Come on Charles. Don't tell me you would say no to a couple of Viagra/drug cocktail fueled night of partying and sticking your old porksword into that moronic bitch that some journalists still refer to as a "blonde bombshell".

Why my sudden concern for your welfare you might ask Charles? After all I have already outlined that I find you to be a disgusting souvenir of a time in history we would all be better off to forget about entirely. In 2005 people make their way through life on luck and hard work. Privledge doesn't come into it. Why am I so interested in you getting together with Anna Nicole Smith?

Here you are ready to marry the woman who has always been at the center of your affections for the last 30 years and all I can think about is the ashen look of horror on the faces of Prime Minister John Howard and Professor David Flint if you were to marry Anna Nicole Smith. As the true Republican I am I know as well as anyone that one Queen is as bad as another. Queen Diana, Queen Camilla or Queen Anna Nicole: either way it is still a filthy bitch pretending to have some sort of divine authority over the people of Australia. But for John Howard, David Flint and the rest of the poncey, privately educated, old boys in the Constitutional Monarchy Camp this would be a mortal blow to their dreams of an Australia indefinitely tied to the apron stings of Britain. But more to the point they would seeth with anger at the pure affront to their own stuffy conservatism. Sorry boys but it turns out that the Monarchy is now such a joke that even stupid blonde hollywood types can be what will by that time only loosely be called "Queen'.

Harry comes at it from a different perspective. As I have previously said he is a stupid, horny, drug-fucked, little, bastard, redhead, nazi. As Sean 'P Diddy' Combes once remarked "Without Anna Nicole Smith the world would just be boring." Truer words were never said by a stupid hip-hop/pop-star wannabe and the young Prince Harry knows it better then anyone. Harry has a number of reasons for prefering Anna Nicole Smith as his step-mother. First and foremost is the fact that he will have a step-mother who is wicked hot with huge tits that he has imagined holding since he first met them between the pages of a Playboy magazine. The second reason is that Anna Nicole will be able to hook the young Prince up with some well wicked drugs. Won't that be good fun! What manner of stupid shit will Harry get up to when he graduates from weed up to hardcore narcotics and prescription pharmaceuticals?

Think very seriously about it Charles. I think it is a good idea and so do Harry and P. Diddy. Anna Nicole Smith would love to be your wife. Any woman known to publicly compare herself to Marilyn Monroe would love the opportunity to compare herself to Princess Diana. So take the singing pimp's advice Charles and shack up with Anna Nicole. Enjoy those silicone breasts and strike a dagger in the heart of Australian support for the monarchy.

truly,
?? Wangst McPants