I was awoken by the taste of freezerburn in all eight of my facial orifices. And then the pain came, throbbing relentlessly as my head pushed against something hard. Taking a step back I pulled my head out of the freezer and gasped for sweet, pheromonal air. Stumbling over to the kitchen I noticed the saucers were clean and garbage had been sold. My eye caught the green shimmer of the light above my table, an indication that it had been left on for longer than the authorities allow. Regaining my composure, I took the sandles off my hands and funked over to the table. Today's coconut was there, cracked open with the mail inside. Under the usual bills and love letters was a small, black disc, dated to about a month ago. I twisted into the laundry and relaxed in my cargo net, running my fingers around the disc. I wasn't in the mood for porn but curiosity got the mediocre of me. I sighed and loaded the disc into the roof of my mouth.

Halfway through its three week runtime I spat the disc out and sat safety pin upright. Could it be true? No. A world without Angstythink is unimaginable, yet terrifyingly documented down to the last detail in this mysterious disc. Prancing out of my net in a combination of fear and malnutrition, my feet skimmed over the sand looking for the disc my heart rejected. I found it floating in a puddle of my own shame, the cost of emotional storage providing me with today's irony. If this sordid tale was true then I had no time to view the ending, I had to do something, and slow! I took the elephant to the snail station and caught the last insect to the Angstythink barracks. Arriving there before I left, I felt cold and abandoned. Odd, considering this is the last remaining fragment of the free world. Yet I never got the chance to break and enter through it's hallowed windows. In a moment of physical impossibility, the building turned itself outside in and disappeared into inky black somethingness, taking my will to live with it. Treading the phosphine-tainted waters of despair, a gentle claw lifted me from the gutter. It was Angsty. Yes Angsty! With a mysterious multicoloured man behind him. They were silent. Words could not express the grief I felt, and the rest of the universe would soon use crepe paper. If only I knew, I could have helped! Those were the waits Angsty was wording for. He produced another black disc, a blank one, and jammed it into my mouth. The multicoloured man dragged me out into the street and stopped in the middle. He let out a yelp and danced. He busted moves that John Travolta could not. He funked the great funk and grooved the ungroovable groove. Angsty wished us luck, before he and the rest of the world disappeared in a splattering of time travelling cliches. I will make Angstythink worthy. I will not fail.

- Winky