I’m sure you’re all aware of the latest quirky news story to come out of the the world’s favourite hot-spot lately - the Middle East -Cheesy Arafat Snacks

Well, the thought of packaging and distributing a notoriously ugly leader as a consumable tasty snack (not to mention donating a pittance from the profits to a worthwhile cause) made me think about other ways we can fix the world through clever marketing of unhealthy snacks. Here are some ideas:


Pakistani-Indian Nuclear Warheads
A new variation on an old time favourite that just hasn’t had the exposure it should. These terribly sour lollies will definitely sour up your life in direct parallel with the increasing possibility of an impending Nuclear War.

Make sure you keep you divide your lollies clearly, as you never know when someone will try to claim yours as their own.

Available in atomic blast brown sugar, spicey tandoori red and United Nations yellow banana

Be sure to keep your eyes out for the special diplomatic efforts surprise™ in every box*

*the ‘pressure to stop terrorism’ diplomatic efforts surprise™ is no longer available.


Crick Lethal Cocktail Euthenasia Rock Candy
Enforce your right to go out in style with these tasty combinations of every type of lethal drugs under the sun.

Best served with your closest family and friends, a doctor of death, and Frank Sinatra singing “I did it my way? in the background.


Public Liability Shoestrings
What better way to support victims of unavoidable accidents than to enjoy the good taste of completely disproportionate compensation payouts! In order to address the crisis of accelerating public liability insurance premiums, the Australian Government has announced that $1 dollar for every packet of licorice shoestrings sold at $3.75 million dollars each (incl GST) will go to victims of stabbings and fires.

Available on streets, schools and beaches near you**

** there will be no liability for the psychological effects caused by the bitter aftertaste of this product.

Not Yet Available:
Stem Cell Jelly Tots - Who knew unborn babies could taste so good whilst being so good for you!

I'm eating skittles with chop sticks. I swear I don't do stupid shit like this, just so i've got something to write about on Angstythink. All the stupid shit I mention on this site, is actually stupid shit I do. Angstythink has a 100% genuine stupidity guarantee. I'm actually remarkably good at it (eating skittles with chop sticks). It takes me about 10 seconds to eat each skittle, and even though I drop quite a few on the floor, by and large i'm quite impressed with my own dexterity. Naturally if anyone comes into the room i'm going to have to hide my chop sticks fairly quickly.

I spent the best part of today cleaning the gutters at my house. If I had spent all of monday, all of tuesday, all of wednesday, and all of thursday thinking up the thing I would least like to do on friday, I think that spending 2 hours cleaning leaves and bugs and crud out of gutters would be what I'd come up with.

You see, the Angst family has moved house again and it seems that the family that used to live here, had never even been out into the backyard before.... let alone cleaned out the guttering. PapaAngst, MummaAngst, Myself, BrotherAngst and SisterAngst, packed up all our shit and moved house for the second time in 4 months. This new house is heaps bigger then the last one, its infested with bugs and its 10 minutes further away from Uni and work. You remember that episode of the X-files where these little black slug looking things are crawling out of peoples eyes and noses? These things that are crawling on my walls look a little bit like that. I've not yet seen one crawl out of my sisters nose, but i'm still waiting and we've only been here a few days.

And i've got the small room again.

Fuck the little black bugs. IVE GOT THE FUCKING SMALL ROOM AGAIN! Should I be punished just because i've got no furniture? NO. Fuckit. It doent even matter. I'm moving to university in 3 months.