I’m sure you’re all aware of the latest quirky news story to come out of the the world’s favourite hot-spot lately - the Middle East -Cheesy Arafat Snacks
Well, the thought of packaging and distributing a notoriously ugly leader as a consumable tasty snack (not to mention donating a pittance from the profits to a worthwhile cause) made me think about other ways we can fix the world through clever marketing of unhealthy snacks. Here are some ideas:
Pakistani-Indian Nuclear Warheads
A new variation on an old time favourite that just hasn’t had the exposure it should. These terribly sour lollies will definitely sour up your life in direct parallel with the increasing possibility of an impending Nuclear War.
Make sure you keep you divide your lollies clearly, as you never know when someone will try to claim yours as their own.
Available in atomic blast brown sugar, spicey tandoori red and United Nations yellow banana
Be sure to keep your eyes out for the special diplomatic efforts surprise™ in every box*
*the ‘pressure to stop terrorism’ diplomatic efforts surprise™ is no longer available.
Crick Lethal Cocktail Euthenasia Rock Candy
Enforce your right to go out in style with these tasty combinations of every type of lethal drugs under the sun.
Best served with your closest family and friends, a doctor of death, and Frank Sinatra singing “I did it my way? in the background.
Public Liability Shoestrings
What better way to support victims of unavoidable accidents than to enjoy the good taste of completely disproportionate compensation payouts! In order to address the crisis of accelerating public liability insurance premiums, the Australian Government has announced that $1 dollar for every packet of licorice shoestrings sold at $3.75 million dollars each (incl GST) will go to victims of stabbings and fires.
Available on streets, schools and beaches near you**
** there will be no liability for the psychological effects caused by the bitter aftertaste of this product.
Not Yet Available:
Stem Cell Jelly Tots - Who knew unborn babies could taste so good whilst being so good for you!
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