Riding the train into the city, makes me melancholy. There is not much to do on a train, except squirm in your seat and observe your fellow passengers doing the same. Since I do a fair bit of squirming, and because I like to take up a lot of room, I usually choose to sit somewhere with empty seats on either side. When I stepped onto the crowded train yesterday, I had to sit next to someone.

The finest looking creature ever born with 2 X chromosomes.

She looked about 15, but that didn't really seem to bother me, and I eyed her off anyway, burning the images into my brain for latter. I went over to sit in the spot between her and another less attractive girl. Watching other people come onto the train is interesting. Particularly, in this case, if they are 16 year old boys. Studying their response to said girl next to me is fun. Some guys try to not to stare at her legs. While others make no such effort to be discrete, and just let their jaw fall to the carpet. I smile to myself, "Poor little losers just cant help themselves". That's when the melancholia kicks in. Because that's when it occurs to me that I'm the little loser that sat next to her, just so I could get a better look down her top.

Then the melancholy hits top gear. I start looking at people, trying to plumb the depths of their soul, with my eyes. I try to figure out their whole life story just from their mannerisms, their attitude, their attire. Is that business man sitting over there in a suit and tie, at a crossroads in his life: realizing the last 30 years climbing up the corporate ladder has cost him his soul, yet still left him wearing shit ties and riding to work on public transport where strange angsty teenagers stare at him the whole trip. Or is he perfectly happy? I don't think so. I start feeling like I want to reach out and help people, make them feel better. It's then that I realize how far away from them I really am. On the other side of the carriage and yet at the same time, on the other side of the world. By this time I feel melancholy fit to jump straight off the moving train, out of the window, onto the gravel . This is the crazy shit I think about while riding on trains.

I applied for a job as an IT Assistant at a Catholic girls school the other day (actually, more like 2 months ago.... but i couldn't post this untill now). I am, as some might know, very not Cathlolic. I'm not even religious, let alone Catholic. Such a pity. It would have been the ideal job for yours truly. Helping technologically inert teachers with their MS Word problems, and oogling the students. Perfect. It didn't say so specifcally in the Job Advert, but I think perhaps they are looking for someone with a nice Catholic upbringing... which I think is so unfair. I could be a great IT Assistant, regardless of my godless atheistic upbringing. So I decided to fake it....

Catholic School Principle: Hello young man. The first and most important question... are you Catholic?
ExistAngst: Too fuckin right I am ay. That Jesus guy.... strewth, was he a fucking top notch bloke or what.
Principle Guy: Excuse me?
Me: Yeah, Jesus sure was cool.... and that Mary, you know 'is Muvver, that clever broad that managed to get knocked up the duff wivout ever acshully having to go near Joseph's old fella. She was a real bonza sheila hey.
Principle Guy: Joseph's old fella?
Me: Yeah you know. 'Is trouser snake. 'Is one eyed purple 'eaded warrior. 'Is little Joseph. 'Is hot yohgurt cannon....
Principle Guy: (interupting) OK, thats quite enough, I think we get the point.
Me: (Getting my confidence up) Joseph, the dopey bugger kept it in 'is pants the whole time, working his arse off to earn a living, while Mary was out doing the funky horizontal dance, wiv Jesus's real daddy. Den she comes home one night, a good few munfs after the wild night wif JC's legitimate papa, when its obvious shes got a bun in da oven, and sez it woz an "Imaculate Conception". Big ups to any broad cunning enuff to pull dat shit off.

Principle Guy: I have no idea what you just said.
Me: Ehh... never mind... But that Judas fellow.... complete and utter faggot. A real spanger. Anyway, you can see that i'm a dinky di Catholic, so gimme a Job eh?

Principle Guy: You don't even know any of the apostles do you?
Me: What's a possle?

I don't think they bought it, cause I didnt get a call back.

On a related, but less funny topic, I want to talk about something that caused a big brouhaha a few months ago over here where I live in Perth WA.

A Christian High School, Kingsway Christian College, refused enrollment to an eight year old boy on the grounds that his Mother was living in a de-facto relationship.

I find the irony here to be pretty stark.

As I've said above, I'm not Christian, but what I do know about Jesus is this: he was tolerant. He knew how to relate to people. He embraced people, regardless of their social status, life style, political views, hair cut, family background or marital status. He just wanted to help people and to teach people how to live morally fulfilling lives. He wasn't into rejecting people on the basis of petty differences in the way they lived their lives. Not to say he didn't disagree with the way people lived, to the contrary, as the Son of God he was quite disappointed with the way people were living their lives, but he would never have refused someone the benefit of his teachings, just because he didn't like the way they lived.

Yet here we have, a Christian School, claiming to behold the very same values as Jesus Christ, deciding to reject a child, based on his mothers marital status.

Schools like these, seem to me to breed very closed elitist cliques. They teach children to close themselves off from the rest of the world. Did Jesus close himself off from the rest of the world? No. Because he was too busy helping people to refuse them entry into his circle of disciples. The onus on Christian schools, shouldn't be to reject families that don't match up to some moral measure, but to provide a Christian education to any parent that so desires it for their child. Nor should Christian schools take it upon themselves to exclude various cultural aspects of the modern world, on the basis that they don't match up to some sort of imaginary Christian ethos, made up just for that occasion from some ambigious quote in the old testament. This school supposedly banned a Tae Kwon Do exhibition because it was deemed to be not in keeping with Christian practice.

Since when did Christianity become a cultural doctrine? Christianity is a compass on which one can measure their actions against a given moral standard, one that I normally agree with. Christianity is not some weapon, by which people should be allowed, to reject or attack various cultural aspects of society.

Thats what Mullah Omar does, and it doesn't make it any more acceptable when English speaking Christians do it. Bigots make me fucking angry. Christian fundamentalism is no better then Islamic fundamentalism.

I can't promise Angstythink will always be the same. I can't promise it will always be intelligent. I've never promised, nor ever been able to promise such a thing. All I can promise is that Angstythink will always be here and that as long as it bears my name, I will always be here having fun.

This little disclaimer wouldnt be here, if it weren't for all the crap I was getting back in January just before Angstythink went AWOL. Peeps were saying shit about me being a sellout (to WHAT?), and about being a "Male Validate This" (So u mean just like the real Validate This?) etc. etc.

In other words, people were saying that Angstythink had gone all EN.

God people, don't have such a spaz. I write a few stupid posts in a row and suddenly im the anti-christ. No its true, I wrote a few bad posts and I turned into the anti-christ.

Anyway, so Angstythink is back up with a new domain and a whole new 'tude.

What am i going to do with this rebirthing of Angstythink?

I might just going off to find some crazy wacky pictures to put in a post about killer kittens. I dunno. I dont spose you care either. At any rate, to make up for the last month and a half of nothing, i will post every single day